End of An Era

Sunday, February 10, 2019

I just lost someone. She didn't die or anything. She's just not part of my life anymore. 

It kills me to think about it. I've always thought of her as the only constant person in my life. She was my forever. She's been with me through hell and back. And I've seen her through all the heartaches. I never thought I'd see the day that I'd have to face everything without her. 

I don't know what happened. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. I don't know. Maybe she just realized she doesn't want me around anymore. All I know is we were good, and then we weren't. 

She didn't greet me on my birthday. 

It broke my heart. I cried. A lot. 

I just can't believe she would do this to me. Leave me hanging right when I needed her the most. And she knows it. I needed her so bad. I told her that. I was hanging by a thread and her just not talking to me like that broke me. It fucking broke me. 

At first, I tried reasoning out to myself, maybe she's just busy or maybe she just forgot or something.  I even thought, maybe she's just trying to ignore me then she'll surprise me in the coming days. Ha-ha! Joke's on me. 

I also thought, maybe she's pissed at me or something, she just needs time and she'll talk to me again. She's like that with people. But then I realized is that really the kind of friend I want? Is that even fair? 

I treated her like a sister. 

Being a true friend means you'll be there for that person. Always. You might lose touch throughout the years but when your friend needs you, I mean really needs you, you're there. It means being there for them even though you hate them at times. 

Being a true friend means calling her out if she did something wrong and not just leave her hanging, not knowing what happened. Being a friend means being  the voice of reason and being able to tell them anything and everything no matter how hurtful it may be cause it's better than lying. 

Being a true friend doesn't mean you're only there when it's convenient for you. Being a true friend means going the extra mile for that person. 

I don't know. Maybe I'm still hurting. I just got my heart broken by the one person I thought would never do it. 

I still believe that everything happens for a reason. I might not get why this happened yet, but maybe someday I will. At least I can say that we had a good run. 

Even though things had to end this way I know that at some point, I really meant a lot to her and we really were best friends. It's just the end of an era I guess..



"And in time, you will come to understand that their leaving was a gift." - April Green



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